And August is leaving...

7 months.

All that I have felt is changing my life's point of view. Sometimes I feel worried about the uncertain future, sometimes I feel terrified about my fate, sometimes I feel depress... Also, sometimes I am taken for the facts and thoughts...

I have stressless moments, without pain... and with happiness. Then when I am realized that all is an illusion... I feel hungry and sad about myself. Because, in this moments I feel that I am forgetting you... And I DON'T WANT IT.

I only know that always I FEEL ALONE. ALONE. ALONE. Why? Because you are not with me. No more. Never. And nobody can't do anything to solve it or to relieve my pain and sadness.

Now August is leaving... It is being very hard. Special dates without you... for the first time... And I am trying not thinking in next months or in the future...

I love you, mum

I miss you so much!

Delicious

You were so delicious, in all your movements, actions and thoughts.

Sometimes I feel depress about thinking that perhaps... I have forgotten your delicious food. And, Is it important? Absolutely, because cooking is one of my passions... Perhaps one of the few that we share in our way, indeed in all my life.

I feel depress because, in recent times We had shared our ways in life... According that lifestyles now, my life is so quite, patient, and... I only fell worried about it is important... Not fixing my goals in foggy schemes that don't give us nothing but... You left. You died.

I hope remind your flavours, your delicious memories with my all my days during my life... I hope so, because I don't know if one day We will find you somewhere. You will be staring me with all your love.

Lots of love,

your daughter

Time

Time is going out, fastly but also slowly. On Tuesday it is going to be five months since I lost my worthest treasure.

During this time, I have been isolated. I have rised hard walls between me and my context. Do yo know why? Only trying to find a painless path or signs.

These days I have not second sight. In fact, now or yesterday or the day before I had been surviving the seconds, not thinking in future and the super-natural energies o connections with the diamond. Because I can not feel anything more than pain, solitude, lack of understanding, impotence, fury and thousand of feelings that now, yesterday, the day before and also a month ago had fueled (fueled, fuel, are fueling) my empty soul.

For two or three days I was hopeless. Eventheless, my partner rescued me. He is a treasure, also... that mantains my life.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

In many occasions, dignity and strenght are considered (as beauty) ideal concepts.Although, real life shapes our principles and ideas by the experienced day to day.

I was convinced about the strenght value, and also that only a few fortunate people are involved in this way of life, since they were born. Currently, I think that strenght, as dignity, are forged by yourself and your experiences, and also knowledgements.

My diamond learnt to me so many things. So many that I will never be concious about the whole treasure it gave to me. Not only in ideal and concept areas, also in movements, smiles, tears and daily needed practices: cooking, sewing, etc. Therefore, It "built" and "made" me, and today me, myself and I are the results of all its devoting and generous life.

Today I know that in the last moment, It gifted also dignity and strenght to deal with my fears and archive a sooner future, when I will not frightened to my life without my great worth treasure.

RECENTLY

A few weeks ago, my world stopped. But, I know that only was a mirage, because the world never stops.

Now, MY WORLD tries to reemerge between links, thoughts and also dreams.

Here I hope to show you my stuff about it: cooking, photos, words and other beautiful things.

Surely, I will succed because I have a lot of help of MY DIAMONDS!